Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the disease.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his immediate wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the illness deteriorates.
"Maybe that's shock or possibly I handle situations uniquely, and once I have the facts, it's easier," he stated further.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a set of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're understandably very affected about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still competent to doing anything and everything. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the organization MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a twelve months and more than half within 24 months of detection, as ingestion and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he spoke about informing his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody explained the emphasis was remaining in the moment.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very blessed that the only real choice I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much period with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Association
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the illness is up to 600% higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the air obtainable and creating damage to nerve cells, regular, vigorous exercise can trigger the illness in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his fearless, persistent style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a tackle pad and commenced participating in collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, setting a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing Community
Moody has previously told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other former colleagues about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that kind of love and recognition that people are available is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your love your vocation, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Achieving this for so long a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to help in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
